Insert Lame Joke Here

Draining

2005-07-19T23:28:00.000-07:00

Work is so mentally draining, that it physically wears me out. Yes, it physically wears you out when you sit on your ass all day, using your brain for work. Never thought using my brain would make me tired, since I've always been good at my job without trying. But now I am in this stupid new one, and it is so damn hard, stupid, and totally pointless. I can be there all day, and be totally unproductive by their standards. What? Yes, unproductive. They don't see you as a good, hard working person, unless you are exceeding the standard by double. They chew me out all the time, they yell at me constantly, they piss me off even more, and now they are just making me work without conviction or drive. I have to give a presentation on why I suck, how I plan on not sucking anymore, and the amount of time it will take me to unsuck. If I knew why I couldn't complete my mission and how to fix it, I WOULD. Motherfuckers think they can threaten me with sending me back to my old job, with less pay. Oh yea, less hours, way more time off to relax and burn off excess energy with trips to the gym and getting my own guys trained up, and a personal life. I would actually have time to have friends outside of work. I come home from work here, and drink rum and coke's while watching tv. Sounds fun? FUCK NO. I can't sleep more than 3 hours straight, hell, it's hard just getting to sleep in the first place; and I am getting less and less obediant by the day. Oh no, you're gonna yell at me? Blow me, cocksucker. You're gonna fire me? You don't have the balls, pussy. You'll take some of my pay and some of my time? See how well that gets me to cooperate, you fucking fools. My new boss is the only one who gives us encouragement and is working at fixing our downfalls, while the bosses above her are doing the negative reinforcement thing. Oh, I'm so scared, anybody who has ever worked for me will tell you, I AM MR. NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT, BITCH. I can chew an ass better than all of these old farts put together. That's probably why I laugh in their face when they do it. Yes, I have done that, and top didn't know what to do. A buck, laughing in his face? Oh yeah, and I didn't even try to hide it. I was going to have to drive to San Fransisco tonight to pick up someone who is going on a trip for the next 14 weeks, but since I have shortfalls to overcome, they sent someone else; thanks, morons, for punishing a person who does his job pretty effectively. That guy should have been at home with his wife and kids, but instead, he has to drive 250 miles to be a shuttle driver. Holy shit, it's late. Gotta go to bed, remember, don't point it at anything you don't intend on destroying. Grant.

Insanity

2005-07-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

So here I am, watching The Aviator, and everytime Hughes and Hepburn are together, being themselves with each other, I go ab-so-lute-ly crazy. I can't stop thinking about her. She knows who she is, she reads this, hell I think she is the only person who does. And you know what? She is the only person that matters. When those two are on the screen all happy, I can't concentrate on the movie. I only think of her. Lust? Love? Insanity? I wish I knew. I've had to rewind the movie more than once because of this. She drives me nuts. All I can think of is being with her. Holding her. Kissing her. Just the thought of being with her is making me happy. I can't wait for August to get here, it's still too far off. And the worst part of it all? I can't talk to her untill she gets back from this business trip in Germany in about two weeks. Girls scare me, but not this one. I am perfectly comfortable around her, she is the only woman I can be myself around. And she still likes me. She likes me for who I am and the way I am. And I her. Insanity? Perhaps...

4th of July

2005-07-05T22:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a good 4th, did all of you? I hope no limbs were lost in the drunken celebrations. I rode my bike down to my parents' house this weekend, and boy, is my ass sore. Riding a crotch rocket for 2 hours on the freeway really sucks, you know? But it was fun being able to relax, listen to some music, and speed the miles away on my $9,000 piece of engineering magic. I partied on friday, partied on saturday, did some hard labor digging horse shoe pits on sunday before more partying, and rode home to San Luis Obispo on monday. We went to a Japanese restaraunt called Cho Cho San's, and we racked up a $400 dollar bill with sushi, some meals, and a whole lotta saki and Japanese beer. There was only 15 of us at the joint, and we were obnoxious, and they put up with it, I commend them for their ability to do so. This one chick, I won't name her (Shannon), ate all kinds of food. I mean she ate more than I thought a skinny little hot chick eats in an entire week. She was sitting next to my brother, and she was eating off of his plate a bit. Then he was done, and she was putting it down in a serious way. She ate two or three bowls of rice, finished off all my brothers veggies, the rest of his shrimp, ate some of my veggies, ate some of the birthday boys plate - almost half of it - and she didn't stop there. She was cramming food in her gullet so fast, she looked like a chipmunk. Her cheeks were stuffed, and she kept on shoveling. She could barely chew the food fast enough. A couple of times it looked as if she was gagging and was gonna puke, but she choked it down and kept rolling down the road to glutony. And this was a chick who was hot, she had a great body, kind of a deep raspy voice, beautiful dark hair and some eyes that melted you where you stood. And no, I never saw her go to the bathroom to puke it up. We took some pics of her with my cousins phone, because we couldn't believe our eyes. It was utterly amazing, I can't describe how turned on and repulsed I was at the way she ate all of that food. It was some good food too, I had some Sukyaki Steak, and it was mouth wateringly delicious. I recommend it if you are even a tenth the steak lover I am.
Anyways, is it August yet? I can't wait to go to Texas, I am excited to see my good friend, and I am excited to get a much needed vacation from my dead end job and California. What was that? A vacation from California? Yep, I need a vacation from good ol' cali-for-ni-a. I drive all over this huge, traffic riden state, and frankly, I think my poor skin will flourish in the humidity of East Texas. I am an itchy guy, and it really sucks. It's allergies, or eczema, or...? The doctors don't know either, so I just have to take luke warm showers, and put on 42 gallons of cream and ointment every morning in my 2 hour ordeal of getting ready for work. Ok, 45 minutes. That's to shit, shower, shave, brush my grill, get dressed, choke down a malnutritious breakfast, and get to work by 0830. Back in my previous job - same employer, though - it never took my this long at all, I could do all that and read a couple of chapters of my book after some physical training. I am so freakin' tired from sitting on my ass all day behind a desk, getting chewed out by the bosses every couple of hours for reasons you cannot comprehend, that I wish I hadn't decided to take this position, I should have just got out of this company, got a job that I've wanted since highschool, settle down with a nice betty, have some kids, and enjoy myself untill old age and then death. Now I wish death would come before old age, so I smoke more, I drink more, I care about my job and my position less and less everyday, I wish I could get fired so I could get on with my life and be happy again. I am depressed. For real. I go home from work, I don't call anyone, I watch tv, look at porn on the internet, and go to sleep. EVERYDAY. Every, single, day. Sounds great, huh? You want my job? Take it! It's almost 2300, now. Bedtime, so I can get up and drive myself closer to insanity. Grant

Motorcycle

2005-06-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

Finally got my bike back today. It's back in my living room, where it belongs. Gonna ride it down to my parents house for the four day weekend due to our independance from Great Britain 229 years ago. Did I tell you what a great country this is lately? Well it is, and that's why we are the best and everyone else sucks. Where else can chicks wear damn near nothing at the bar and not get arrested for it? Nowhere. Have you seen some of the hotties rollin' down town? O MY GOD. They are smokin! Tiny little tops showing mass amounts of cleavage, and belly; tight jeans that show off their fine asses; long flowin hair; they just make me wanna tear their clothes off right there in the bar and bang 'em 'till the cows come home. Holy moly, just thinking about it gets the juices flowing and the little soldier standing at attention. If only these chicks new! But that is the problem, they do know. And I want one who is all about having sex every single day, and isn't some type of psyco. I want a nympho who is hot, and all about me. And that's it. So if you fit the bill, drop a comment on this post (or any other post, for that matter) and we'll see if we can make it happen. Have fun. Grant

Stupid People

2005-06-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

Went and checked on my bike again on saturday. Yep, you guessed it, still not done. It's been there for a total of 17 days now. Should be done tomorrow they tell me. Yea, right. So I'm driving today on the freeway, and I notice my offramp is coming up real soon, and right when I get over, the stupid ass female behind me hits the gas and tries to get over too, so that when I'm in the lane, she is in my ass, not on it anymore, mind you, in it. She's doing the shaking her head thing and throwing up her hands like I'm the dumbass for signaling before I decided to get over, and then I got over in front of her! O' Lord if she didn't try and maddog me at the light when she pulled up next to me. Of course, she didn't see my license plate, the U.S. Government, it says; and when she saw I was in my uniform, she did the correct thing and looked away, because she was scared, like a kitten in a lion cage, because if she had said something, her asshole would have been bored out to 20 times its normal size. See, I'm a combat soldier, and an NCO, so I know how to rip ass with the best off them if you know what I mean. But she kept her cool, and I just smiled and waved like the nice person my mommy taught me to be. I hate stupid people more than anything in the world. If I could legally walk around with a firearm, and kill people whenever I felt it was necessary, 40 - 50 people would die each day from me alone. And Wal Mart would make bank off of all the hollow point .40 and .45 rounds I would be buying each day. That would make me the least stressed person on earth, too. All that killing would be good for my soul. So remember that the next time you get mad at another driver you think is ignorant, and think about how you are driving for a second and realize that it may be you who is the jackass, and not the other way around. Now I'n not saying that I am an angelic driver or anything, because I drive like a jackass all the time, and I admit I get a little pissed about other drivers when I'm in a hurry, but I have excorsized the demons, and I have seen the error of my ways, and I have chilled the @#$% out. It's actually pretty good, because I have recently been told that I scare some people when I drive, a couple of females, and one male, but he's kind of a pussy, and he drives slower and worse than a blind 97 year old great grandma. Have fun, and don't do anyone I wouldn't do. Grant

Crazy News Article

2005-06-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

This is a wicked article, and for some reason, I couldn't get the link to work, so here it is in all it's glory. It's a little long, but very good. It was originally published in the National Review, and was written by Victor Davis Hanson

Are They In The Army Now?
"Figures on U.S. military recruitment just released for 2005 show that the Army missed its monthly announced goal, achieving only 75 percent of its anticipated enlistments for this May. The Army National Guard and the Army Reserve also missed their desired monthly targets. Stories in the press followed, claiming that the Pentagon is lowering Army standards to pull in new recruits and address the fallout from the depressing news in Iraq. Recent dips in Army enlistments also fueled a new conventional wisdom: that the U.S. military is almost dangerously undermanned, exhausted, and overstretched. An unpopular war, domestic opposition, televised casualties, extended service, divorce and social dislocations, an improving economy, and supposed disparity in the sacrifices made by troops of different races and classes have all, it is said, conspired to cut recruitment to the volounteer army and reserves to alarming levels. In turn, fears of undermanned armed forces have prompted existential questions about who should serve and the nature of U.S. foreign policy. Opponents of the war in Iraq also make the arguement - perhaps legitimate in its own right - that our options are limited in dealing with Syria, Iran, and North Korea because we are overextended in Iraq and Afghanistan. Such critics also know that the cover of an exhausted military means they will never be called to spell out their exact position on the future use of force elsewhere. Behind most critiques, oddly enough, is the promise of the draft. Some critics of the war profess support for a return to conscription - both to address the purported manpower shortage and to ensure less military action abroad in the future. If a broader cross-section of the population serves in the military, it is argued, won't we all be more careful how it is used? And isn't the present system making inordinate demands on minorities, the poor, and the undereducated? We might ask how accurate is the current picture of military disarray.
First, the Marines have suffered disproportionate fatalities in the war in Iraq. They are about 30 percent of all combat deaths, yet make up only 11 percent of current American forces. But in May the Marines slightly exceeded their recruitment goal. The Air Force and Navy likewise met 100 percent of their requirements. The Army traditionally has had the hardest time meeting its targets, given the reputation - warranted or not - that the other branches offer more specialized training and skills that will better enhance civilian careers without the same level of risk as ground combat.
Second, this year is only half over. The Army may well rebound and meets its full 2005 quota, as nearly all branches of the active services (the Army and Air National Guard were exceptions) did in 2004. Much depends on whether the economy continues to improve and thus competesfor high-school graduates, and whether the Iraqi military can take over its envisioned preponderant military role, keeping the insurgency out of the daily headlines.
Third, on demographic grounds, our current troop mobilizations are hardly a drain on the U.S. population base. In a country of about 300 million residents, we have about 1.4 million troops deployed worldwide. Yet in 1974, during the first full year of the all-volounteer army, the United States deployed 1.9 million soldiers, drawing on a population of more than 210 million. In other words, when the population was just 70 percent of our current size, the armed forces sustained troop levels 1.3 times larger than our present military.
Critics harp on the expenses of the War on Terror and suggest that are unable to sustain such a drain. Yet in the first full year of the volounteer army, military expenditures accounted for 58 percent of discretionary spending, or about 5.5 percent of the gross domestic product. In 2003, when we inveded Iraq with 200,000 troops and conducted reconstruction efforts in Afghanistan, we alloted only 49 percent of discretionary spending to defense, some 3.7 percent of GDP - itself a moderate rise from 1999 - 2000, when defense expenditure had descended to the historical low of about 3 percent of GDP. This suggest the armed forces were inadequate to meet the security profile of the United States well before September 11.
If it turns out that we need more troops in the military, based on historical prescedents and current resources, we surely have the population and national wealth to field larger forces than we presently deploy, and to pay them morethan we do now. But if critics insist that the 140,000 troops in Iraq are nevertheless too costly for the presently constituted U.S. military, and the current armed forces too costly for the United States, then they should examine very carefully our troop allotments elsewhere. We still have around 110,000 soldiers in various places in Europe, and almost another 80,000 in Japan and South Korea. Even if the arguement can be made that the rise of China has replaced the threat of the Soviet Union and mandated that we maintain current troop levels in Japan, still thousands of troops in Europe and South Korea could be but or deployed closer to the Middle East.
The problem most often raised, however, is not so much the cost or size of our military, but rather the disproportionate sacrifice of the underprivileged. Yet statistics of combat fatalities from Iraq are kept current, and the most recent numbers suggest that the continual cries of unfairness are not substantiated by hard data. Indeed the claim is eerily smilar to the past hysteria that blacks and Latinos died in disproportionate numbers in Southwest Asia, when, in fact, statistics confirmed that they did not.
Data on combat deaths in Iraq as of March 2005 surprised crtics of the war. Contrary to the perception that citizen soldiers are bearing an inordinate portion of the overall burden, National Guardsmen constitute about 24 percent of all military personnel but acounted for 16 percent of those lost in Iraq. Some 95 percent of the fatalities had high-school diplomas, though only 85 percent of all Americans have finished high school. Blacks and Latinos made up 10.9 and 11.5 percent of the dead, respectively - about their same percentages in the general population, but in the case of blacks less than the 18.6 percent currently serving in the military. Twenty-nine percent of those who died attended high schools in poverty-stricken areas, versus about 30 percent poverty rate for all high-school graduates. Seventy percent of those lost were white men, although they currently make up only about a third of the U.S. population.
If our current debate about the military transcends proportionate costs and relative sacrifice, perhaps our unhappiness derives from the terrible loss of 1,700 combat dead in Iraq. Yet this discontent arises not from numbers alone. After all, at catastrophic moments in our history far more were killed either in a single day or in a few weeks than all those we have lost since September 11 in Afghanistan and Iraq. Between five and six thousand Americans were killed on September 17, 1862 at Antietam. D-Day cost around 3,000 Allied dead, and another 6,000 were wounded. During the Battle of the Bulge, some 19,000 Americans died and another 60,000 were wounded, missing, or captured. In the first few minutes of Pearl Harbor, about 2,400 Americans perished. And so far the 1,700 killed in action in Iraq make up about 60 percent of those lost on the first day of this warin the attacks on the Pentagon and the World Trade Center.
The problem is not just absolute numbers, then, but the growing perception after two years of Iraqi reconstruction that our dead were not lost in a war of national survival, or that such deaths are incompatible with a contemporary society that no longer believes force is desirable or necessary to maintain it's security. In that case, the problem is not a military on per se. Going 7,000 miles across the globe, toppling two fascistic governments and establishing democracies in their places, and doing so at a cost (albiet a painful one) of less than 2,000 soldiers, is, by historical standards, an unprecedented achievement.
Arguements persist over the proper troop levels in Iraq. But given the nature of the insurgency, more conventional troops do not seem to offer solutions, especially when the more critical task is lowering the American profile and working in the shadows to support and train a new Iraqi military. Rather, the controversy is really a political challenge of explaining the nature of the American sacrifice in Iraq, putting it in a historical context, and convincing the American people that such brave soldiers have both made Americans far safer and given the Middle East a future.
A related issue involves the proper role of the American military in an increasingly complex post-Cold War world. There was enormous pressure to use American troops to stop the Balkan holocaust, which nearby Europeans either could not or would not - despite the absence of the Senate approval, U.N. resolutions, and a clear-cut connection to American national security. Similar cries arise to deploy to Darfur to curtail the slaughter of innocents. All could agree that a U.S. carrier should speed immediately to Indonesia on news of the tsunami disaster. The message of Robert Kaplan's recent Imperial Grunts is that there are tens of thousands of American soldiers stationed in unknown places in Africa, Latin America, and Asia engaged in the daily training of forces, civilian development projects, and what we might call old-fashioned foreign aid, all quite distant from any notion of conventional fighting. Such commitments are usually off the radar screen, do not involve many combat losses, and meet the postmodern criteria of nation-building rather than fighting wars. As long as Americans are not dying on television, the American people seem willing to pay for and support such extensive commitments.
Our current debateis not properly a military one, since the American armed forces are performing exceptionately well in Iraq and probably have enough aggregate strength to re-deploy to meet foreseeable crises elsewhere. Given our size, material wealth, and underutilized resources, we could easily expand or contract our military as we see fit. Rather, the rub is one of perception: The real question is whether Americans wish to continue their efforts to establish democratic states to replace deposed Middle East autocracies, and in general whether we wish to use forces abroad at all in wars that may require messy occupations and reconstructions that follow rapid and successful conventional victories."

That too me nearly 2 hours to type out, and my eyes are killing me. Everyone have fun, talk at ya later. Grant

WTF?

2005-06-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

yea, so i was talking to this chick i know in texas, and me and her would probably would be dating if we weren't 2000 miles away from each other, i like her a lot, it kinda sucks we can't see each other more often. i'm going to see her in august, taking a vacation from this hell hole, have me some s-e-x, it's gonna be bitchen! yea, so at work, my boss is all mad about his boss being mad, and it's making me mad, and the others at work are mad, and we all be mad. but we talked about it, and made fun of people, and we were good after a little while. so this one time, at band camp...i hate my job...i hate it...and i really hate you. yes, you, and your mother said you were special, special ed that is. i'll talk to you guys later. NO! you guys should check out www.joerogan.net, that guy is hilarious. he has some funny rants on it, and the joe show is funny as hell. there is a post about him being gay on it, he's not, but he talks about how people think he is, and then he talks about some gay people. it's funny as shit. i know i like it, and i check it out all the time to see if he updates, but it's been a while. everyone should go join the army right now. don't ask questions, just go fucking do it, we need you to help us out. don't worry about iraq, it's not scary, i was there for a year with the 4th Infantry Division, and i had a really fun time. and i made a lot of money as well. think about it, fuckers, it has some really good benefits you can't get anywhere else, like free health care, money for food and rent, and some kick ass benefits for your families as well. i like it, so maybe i'm biased, some people don't like it, but i think it's because they are pussies and didn't take a combat job like they should have. have fun, later. Grant

2005-06-21T21:18:00.000-07:00

Me in Colorado a little while back

1st Timer

2005-06-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

this is my first posting on a website of any kind, so eat me. i'm sure there is going to be some really random stuff on here, like how much my job sucks, or why i can't get a girlfriend, or why my motorcycle should have been fixed a week ago. about that-i bought a 2005 suzuki gsxr600 brand spanking new last december. so i've had it about seven months now. the fucking headlights don't work now. i brought it to the shop nearby (it's under warranty, why not?), turns out this has happened before on other bikes, and it has something to do with the start switch wiring harness. you know, the headlight turns off when you press the starter button. but it is always off now, both the low and high beam. kinda scary when you have to drive home on the freeway in rush hour traffic 45 minutes to the house. i brought the bike in 10 days ago. the parts are still not in, and it is really irritating. i want to ride my $9,000 bike! i work six days a week, 29 hours a day, and it really blows not being able to spend my sundays trying to kill myself at a buck 50, or scraping knee through the canyons. so anyways, i'm a 24 year old man who kicks ass for a living (well my current position is a desk job, which i got selected for because i'm in the top 10% of my job skill or some bullshit they try to feed us here) and i like it when i get to do it, but since i can't get out of it unless i die or get fired (only in your wildest dreams, dickhead) i'm stuck here for two and a half more years. i've actually thought about suicide, can you believe it? i am a firearm owner, so it's not like i don't have the means, but i kind of like my family, and they also wouldn't get my fat ass life insurance payment if i juice myself in the head. i'm not married, have no kids, don't have a girlfriend, everyone i've ever met has told me i am a good looking guy, too, and blah blah blah. i don't know. i'm fucking hate myself sometimes. well, i'll get back to you guys. i'll see you in hell, i'll be driving the bus. grant